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Afraid To Tell My Parents

I first called Life Center six years ago when I found myself pregnant via a home pregnancy test. I remember the absolute dread I felt when I saw the positive result on the test wand.  I new I could not have a baby under any circumstances. I was 16 years old, in my junior year of high school, and lived at home with parents who would never accept this. My sister had a baby right after high school, and my parents were depressed for months after this. They were immigrants who had worked and struggled for their children to succeed in their chosen country, My sister's pregnancy said to them they had failed. As religious people they felt they had failed as parents before God.  How could I add to their despair. They had not failed our family of four children, the two oldest were girls. They wanted us to graduate, go to college and be an example to the younger brothers, Both my sister and I still wanted to give them their dream, my sister was doing her best as a single mom and was a student plus got a job to pay for the needs of her child.
So when I saw that positive result, I knew I had only one choice. This could not happen again for them.  

I looked in the phone book for a place to take care of the problem. My boyfriend didn't want to end the life of this "baby". But he accepted that it was my choice and his fault, even though it really was both of us who made this baby together, The first ad I saw
in Abortion Alternatives was Life Center Santa Ana.  I didn't realize that abortion was not provided by them. However, when I talked to the counselor on the phone she listened to all that I had to say, and did not react in a negative way to my request to abort. She did not criticize me for bad choices.  Rather, she made me feel I could talk forever, which I felt I did. I was told to come for a lab test which I did.  

When I went to the center, I went alone.  My boyfriend felt overwhelmed, and I felt I could think more clearly myself. He thought I was going to set appt. for abortion, and all he wanted was to know when and where at this point.  So with a pain in my heart I went to Life Center.  I talked until I could talk no more. The counselor listened and guided me to seeing things in a different way.  The most important thing was she asked me what I thought was happening to me, and did I feel any connection to the child within. It was at that point I really thought about the baby as real. I saw fetal models, discussed the choices I  had.  I left the office with another appointment set for a week later. I was told to call anytime since I could reach someone 24 hrs. a day 7days a week,  I did in fact call and talked to my counselor. I was so afraid to tell my parents and break their heart. She told me that it was probable that they would be very upset, gave no false promises, but encouraged me to tell them that she was getting help. They were welcome to come to discuss their feelings and fears.

I finally told them, and ,yes, they were upset. However, no way did they want me to have an abortion. That was a definite relief, but also was a beginning which led to the best chapter in my life. My counselor and my parents encouraged me to finish high school,
which I did .  My beautiful daughter was born 7 mos. later. Her father was right there with me.  For the whole pregnancy we worked with the Life Center counselor . After the birth of Allana, my beautiful little girl, life was definitely changed. It was not easier, but
was much more filled with joy, achievement, and growing up.  My family and boyfriend's family encouraged no marriage until later if in God's plan. Allana's father grew with me. He lived with his parents, and I with mine. We both finished school. We did have many
difficult days, especially working as best we could to provide for our daughter.  But, we did grow up.  I went on to become a physician's assistant, and he became certified in heating and air conditioning .  We are now married, proud parents, and expectant parents. Our new baby, a girl we are told, will join our family in November.!

I have stayed in touch with Life Center all these past years, How would life be if I had not opened the phone book and called them "by mistake".  The counselor is still there , and has been to family celebrations with my family. She will be thrilled to see our new little girl this Fall, and share in more joy to be.

Tags: abortion, unplanned pregnancy, telling parents

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