Trust

Her mom brought her to this country as a young child, and they lived with her mother’s brother and his wife. She had a brother, and he was allowed to go to school and leave the house, but she was kept home, for fear that someone would see the bruises and ask what was happening to her. She was sexually, mentally and physically tortured every day for over a decade. Finally a neighbor called the police after hearing her scream, and she was freed.

Three years of foster families taught her that loyalty and love were not for her. She didn’t trust others, and she didn’t trust herself. She described being unable to hold firm to decisions she’d made, worrying that she was being foolish, and she believed  that anyone could make better decisions for her than she could.

Her first pregnancy was at age 18, and she was scared, but her boyfriend promised he’d be there for her, and everything would be ok. A couple years down the line, she realized that he’d changed, and was no longer someone she felt safe with. She ended that relationship and soon found someone she believed she could trust. She felt safe for awhile, but then hints of infidelity appeared, and then the worst.

She’s been living with him and his mother, but when she discovered she was pregnant, his mother forced her out, with her young son, knowing they had nowhere to turn. She lived in her car, renting hotel rooms when she could afford it, and he did nothing to help. She was abandoned, pregnant, with a toddler son, and she chose abortion.

She was allowed to return to her boyfriend’s mother’s house then, and she did. She continued working, while her boyfriend did not. She received healing care for her abortion, and thought she’d never do that again. But last week, she found out she was pregnant again, and his mother again insisted upon abortion.

She wanted to leave, but had nowhere to turn. Her boyfriend cried, and asked her not to do it, but offered no solutions to the crisis. He’d also cheated on her, and her trust in him was completely lost. She felt like the worst kind of monster, for considering this again, when she understood fully how evil it was. She felt like a fool for remaining with him, and allowing herself to be in this situation again. She had flashbacks from the previous abortion, and thought that if she ended this pregnancy the pain and trauma would end too. She took the pill.

Lying in bed that night, feeling her stomach twist and turn, she knew she wouldn’t survive another abortion. Mentally, she knew she would not live with herself if she killed another child. Her dreams of that other baby were so vivid! He’d run to her and he loved her, she thought he would never return to her if she finished this abortion. She pulled up her phone and searched for some way to stop an abortion in progress, and called us!

Tears were heavy throughout our meeting, but her smile grew when she saw her ultrasound! The baby was waving his arms and the heartbeat was weak, but present. We’ll see her again next week, and she’ll continue the regimen, praying always that this baby makes it.

Pray with us, that every child is welcomed with love, and that these mothers recognize their value, and that of their children.